It's been a while

I haven't written in a while.  There has been some crap that hit the fan and I didn't want to sound negative or down so I thought I would wait.  See if I could write about it without a tone of anger.

Hmmmm.  I don't think that's gonna happen.

First of all, after all the love that was spread because of and for the wrestling team, my heart was broken to hear there had been some hazing among some of the players.  So DUMB!  There's a point where "boys being boys" goes too far, and if what I heard is true, it definitely went too far.  But that's not the only low point of this story.  Again, if what I hear is true, then the school district bullied these kids.  They were interviewed without the knowledge or consent of their parents, and they didn't have another adult in the room with them other than those representing the district.  We are supposed to be teaching our children that bullying (hazing, fighting, intimidating) is wrong, but then as they are being investigated they are being bullied themselves.  So unfair. 

I know that above paragraph sounds confusing - "if what I hear is true" - but I really don't have any first hand knowledge of what occurred during the supposed hazing incident, or during the supposed interrogations.  I do know that 11 boys weren't able to wrestle during the regional and state competitions.  After all the work they put into their practices and getting in shape, and they don't get the chance to compete because of stupidity.   If this becomes a criminal matter then they have ruined their lives, not just the end of their year.

I feel very confident that Alex was NEVER around during the hazing or saw any of it happen.  He was always with coaches or me.  I'm not concerned at all about that.  Thank goodness!  I guess it does  pay to be a pushy mother.  It took a lot of my time, but at least I know Alex was safe.

At the same time this was coming to light, Cali got an email from a birth mother saying she had been looking at their blog, and wanted to talk about them adopting her babies.  Yes!  Babies...she was pregnant with twin girls.  She had divorced her husband and was getting remarried when she had a fling with her ex, and got pregnant.  Both the ex-husband and new husband were OK with adopting the babies out and they liked Josh and Cali as adoptive parents, too.  The girls were due the first part of March, so this was happening fast!

In the course of a week they exchanged emails;  birth mom's name was Kali (wow!), they had called one of the girls Harley (one of Mac's neighbors name is Harley and we've always commented on what a cute name that is).  Kali had mentioned she found Cali through Josh's sisters blog, and they emailed back and forth about Josh's sisters kids as well as Mac and Quincy.... and then BAM!!! 

3 am - a phone call from a blocked number.  Cali didn't answer it.

A message was left.  "This is Kali.  My water just broke.  Your babies are coming."

Right after Josh and Cali listened to this message, Kali called back.  "I didn't just want to tell you this through a message.  I'm so excited for you right now!  We will be at ___________  hospital.  I will keep  in touch as things progress!  You will have your babies sooner than we thought!"

At 6 am, Cali received an email with pictures of 2 very cute, tiny, precious baby girls.  A message attached said, "Kali asked me to send these to you.  She is talking to a case worker right now.  She will call in a while."

Cali was so excited.  Josh wasn't convinced it was real (their caseworker had warned them that moms with twins could very easily be a scam) and yet they couldn't even get a hold of their caseworker for at least 3 more hours!  Talk about tension!!  Kali and Cali talked on the phone and cried with each other about these babies; how hard it was for Kali to give them up but how she knew Cali was the right person to have them.  Cali telling Kali that she already loved the girls and would take great care of them.

9 am.  Their caseworker gave her a list of information they would need to continue with this.  A response from Kali, but no information.  Caseworker is getting really nervous.  Cali still sure this is the real thing.  Josh won't even talk about it until there is no question if this is real or not.

10 am.   Cali asks one more time to get Kali's caseworker's info so that the 2 caseworkers can start working things out.

NOTHING.

More nothing.........

Then came an email from Kali;  "I just found out you are a fraud.  How could you hurt a mom when you are a mom yourself?  I will just find someone here to take the babies."

Hurt. 
  
       Betrayal.
          
              Anger.
                
                   Confusion.

There are no words to describe how we felt.  This is the second time our family has been part of a fraud scam involving adopting kids (first time was with Mike's brother and his wife) so you would think we would know these things happen.  I guess we just never thought it would happen to Cali and Josh.  Not after all they've been through. 

This Kali knew what she was doing.  All the warning signs that we raised she could answer simply.  Like the blocked phone number?  It was because her husband is in the armed forces and they lived on base so outgoing calls only show up as blocked.   OK. So now it sounds hokey.  But when you're in the middle of a tornado - well let's just say it was believable.

I hurt so bad watching Cali and Josh deal with another devastating blow.  And one that someone planned.  Concocted.  Acted out!  Who would do such a thing?  She read and re-read Cali's blog so she could give intimate details to snare Cali in the scheme.... 

They cried together on the phone....

She dared say that she was grateful her "little girls would have Mac and Quincy as big brothers."

That's the lowest.  Mentioning someone so treasured and loved by Cali and Josh and using their names as bait.  And then to blame Cali and call HER the fraud?!?



Cali and Josh are dealing with this well.  There is no recourse they can take to find this woman or stop her from doing it to anyone else.  They don't even know if her name is really Kali!  They have Oakland who they love to the moon and back and they have Mac and Quincy who are waiting in heaven with some REAL brothers or sisters until it is truly their time to come be with Josh and Cali in their family here on earth.

Even though this is a cruel world, we are children of a God who loves us immensely and knows the pain we feel.  No one - no matter how evil they are - can take that away from us.  They can kick us while we are down, but our Father in heaven will always be there to help us back up. 

So bring it on you stupid people!  I may not be tough, but the army on my side will whoop your butt!!