I haven't written in a while. There has been some crap that hit the fan and I didn't want to sound negative or down so I thought I would wait. See if I could write about it without a tone of anger.
Hmmmm. I don't think that's gonna happen.
First of all, after all the love that was spread because of and for the wrestling team, my heart was broken to hear there had been some hazing among some of the players. So DUMB! There's a point where "boys being boys" goes too far, and if what I heard is true, it definitely went too far. But that's not the only low point of this story. Again, if what I hear is true, then the school district bullied these kids. They were interviewed without the knowledge or consent of their parents, and they didn't have another adult in the room with them other than those representing the district. We are supposed to be teaching our children that bullying (hazing, fighting, intimidating) is wrong, but then as they are being investigated they are being bullied themselves. So unfair.
I know that above paragraph sounds confusing - "if what I hear is true" - but I really don't have any first hand knowledge of what occurred during the supposed hazing incident, or during the supposed interrogations. I do know that 11 boys weren't able to wrestle during the regional and state competitions. After all the work they put into their practices and getting in shape, and they don't get the chance to compete because of stupidity. If this becomes a criminal matter then they have ruined their lives, not just the end of their year.
I feel very confident that Alex was NEVER around during the hazing or saw any of it happen. He was always with coaches or me. I'm not concerned at all about that. Thank goodness! I guess it does pay to be a pushy mother. It took a lot of my time, but at least I know Alex was safe.
At the same time this was coming to light, Cali got an email from a birth mother saying she had been looking at their blog, and wanted to talk about them adopting her babies. Yes! Babies...she was pregnant with twin girls. She had divorced her husband and was getting remarried when she had a fling with her ex, and got pregnant. Both the ex-husband and new husband were OK with adopting the babies out and they liked Josh and Cali as adoptive parents, too. The girls were due the first part of March, so this was happening fast!
In the course of a week they exchanged emails; birth mom's name was Kali (wow!), they had called one of the girls Harley (one of Mac's neighbors name is Harley and we've always commented on what a cute name that is). Kali had mentioned she found Cali through Josh's sisters blog, and they emailed back and forth about Josh's sisters kids as well as Mac and Quincy.... and then BAM!!!
3 am - a phone call from a blocked number. Cali didn't answer it.
A message was left. "This is Kali. My water just broke. Your babies are coming."
Right after Josh and Cali listened to this message, Kali called back. "I didn't just want to tell you this through a message. I'm so excited for you right now! We will be at ___________ hospital. I will keep in touch as things progress! You will have your babies sooner than we thought!"
At 6 am, Cali received an email with pictures of 2 very cute, tiny, precious baby girls. A message attached said, "Kali asked me to send these to you. She is talking to a case worker right now. She will call in a while."
Cali was so excited. Josh wasn't convinced it was real (their caseworker had warned them that moms with twins could very easily be a scam) and yet they couldn't even get a hold of their caseworker for at least 3 more hours! Talk about tension!! Kali and Cali talked on the phone and cried with each other about these babies; how hard it was for Kali to give them up but how she knew Cali was the right person to have them. Cali telling Kali that she already loved the girls and would take great care of them.
9 am. Their caseworker gave her a list of information they would need to continue with this. A response from Kali, but no information. Caseworker is getting really nervous. Cali still sure this is the real thing. Josh won't even talk about it until there is no question if this is real or not.
10 am. Cali asks one more time to get Kali's caseworker's info so that the 2 caseworkers can start working things out.
Then came an email from Kali; "I just found out you are a fraud. How could you hurt a mom when you are a mom yourself? I will just find someone here to take the babies."
There are no words to describe how we felt. This is the second time our family has been part of a fraud scam involving adopting kids (first time was with Mike's brother and his wife) so you would think we would know these things happen. I guess we just never thought it would happen to Cali and Josh. Not after all they've been through.
This Kali knew what she was doing. All the warning signs that we raised she could answer simply. Like the blocked phone number? It was because her husband is in the armed forces and they lived on base so outgoing calls only show up as blocked. OK. So now it sounds hokey. But when you're in the middle of a tornado - well let's just say it was believable.
I hurt so bad watching Cali and Josh deal with another devastating blow. And one that someone planned. Concocted. Acted out! Who would do such a thing? She read and re-read Cali's blog so she could give intimate details to snare Cali in the scheme....
They cried together on the phone....
She dared say that she was grateful her "little girls would have Mac and Quincy as big brothers."
That's the lowest. Mentioning someone so treasured and loved by Cali and Josh and using their names as bait. And then to blame Cali and call HER the fraud?!?
Cali and Josh are dealing with this well. There is no recourse they can take to find this woman or stop her from doing it to anyone else. They don't even know if her name is really Kali! They have Oakland who they love to the moon and back and they have Mac and Quincy who are waiting in heaven with some REAL brothers or sisters until it is truly their time to come be with Josh and Cali in their family here on earth.
Even though this is a cruel world, we are children of a God who loves us immensely and knows the pain we feel. No one - no matter how evil they are - can take that away from us. They can kick us while we are down, but our Father in heaven will always be there to help us back up.
So bring it on you stupid people! I may not be tough, but the army on my side will whoop your butt!!
We went to the pulmonologist today. She is the one doctor all the others have been saying we need to see, so we were very lucky to take someone else's cancellation! Her verdict....
Remember in the last post I mentioned that it was weird to me that one blood gas showed such elevated numbers and only 2 hours later they were normal. Well, if you take a blood sample through the arm (like his first test) the carbon dioxide numbers will always be high. So his second test - via fingertip - is the right place to take this blood sample, and it was totally in range.
Why did he 'pass out' at the urgent care office and on the ride home and 3 times the next morning? Her explanation was he didn't pass out, he was just exhausted. Take a kiddo who has a sinus infection, and possibly strep, add to the fact that he isn't sleeping good and isn't wearing his CPAP mask through the night and you get a very tired kid. He just needed the sleep.
So I'm not such a bad mom after all. When I thought he was just sleeping, he was! Ha! I do know as much if not more than the docs!!!
I want to thank everyone for their support - as always! It's so nice to know that people care.
It's not that I ever thought people don't care, but sometimes, especially when no one can give you answers and you are totally confused, you feel alone. And when you know people care, that loneliness seems to fade a bit!
Yesterday, Alex had 3 'episodes' in the morning, but seemed back to his old self by 2 in the afternoon. Was fine all evening, and when he woke up, he seemed like nothing had happened. I kept him home today, not knowing what to expect, and he was so 'normal' I told him I was going to ship him off to school if he didn't stop bugging the girls!
I have talked to doctor after doctor about this - can I just say Alex has the best docs who truly care about him? They all called me! - and they are as mystified as we are. I am SO glad he had this 'problem' in front of a doctor so I don't look like a panicked mom. But we still don't know what's going on.
To review what we DO know:
*Alex had episodes of altered awareness, where he is non-responsive on Saturday and Sunday.
*His oxygen is fine during these 'spells', and he doesn't seem to be struggling to breathe, just not responsive.
*One blood gas test (taken from the IV) showed levels of carbon dioxide in his blood 3 times what it should be, but the next one 2 hours later (taken from the fingertip) was normal.
*All other tests (EKG, chest xray) showed nothing to be concerned about
What's interesting about these things is none of it makes sense. ESPECIALLY the blood gas tests. I've learned a lot about these tests over the past few days. At first I wondered if the second one was fine because Alex was freaking out so much about the IV - he hated it and told anyone and everyone that would listen to him. He even cried for a solid 1/2 hour. Actually, he threw a fit! So I thought maybe all the screaming and crying kind of 'cleansed' him. No one has actually told me otherwise to that, so I still don't know if I'm right or not. But I have been told that the second test - from his fingertip - should have been worse than the one from the IV.
All the docs say - which I do appreciate because it validates a lot of how I feel - is "it's just Alex." He's never done things the normal or right way. Always the "I've never heard of that before" way.
So today one of the doc's assistants said that all the tests they see from PCMC shows that Alex has metabolic acidosis and metabolic alkalosis. After reading these, I'm still confused. It sounds just like what we've been going through the past few days, even things I didn't associate with this (never-ending hunger and appetite. I just chalked it up to him being a teenager, but it HAS been worse the past few days), but I still haven't learned why...? or how...?
We did get an appointment with his pulmonologist tomorrow - got someones cancellation - so hopefully we will find out if he really does have those problems, or what exactly is going on and what to do about it!!!
I will write more when we find out!! But, again. Thanks for the support!!!
I should preface this by telling you he's had a cold for the past few weeks. Nothing exciting; boogers, hoarse voice in the morning, boogers, more boogers. But who hasn't had that with the crap we've been breathing here in the Salt Lake valley the past few months?
So on Saturday Mike and I had a funeral to go to and Alex spent the morning with my parents. When we went to pick him up, we all sat down and ate a little lunch. Alex literally fell asleep in his food! We all laughed and commented he must be tired, so we took him home and I laid down with him.
This picture is literally 20 seconds after he laid on my shoulder. He was out!!! Stayed asleep for an hour, then woke up and did his own thing. Not a lot of energy, but again, he's had a cold and we are all cooped up in the house. How much energy can you have when you play with 'guys' sitting on the couch?
Sunday morning: Alex woke up and was a bit extra cuddly, but that's not alarming. For a big boy, he loves to cuddle! He did say he "didn't feel good" but that's a hard thing to judge on a Sunday morning. He doesn't like going to church - wait. Let me re-phrase that. He doesn't like leaving the house to go to church. Once he's there he's fine. He's just my homebody!! So, him and I got ready to go to a baby blessing in Bluffdale. After he told me a few hundred times that he "didn't feel good", and he fell asleep on the way to the blessing, I figured after the meeting we would go to the urgent care facility that his docs belong to.
He slept through the 20 minutes we stayed at the meeting (I didn't dare stay any longer and risk getting everyone "sick"), slept all the way home (we changed and ate lunch) then he slept all the way to the doctor's office. We had a 30 minute wait before going back into the patients room, and he sat against me and watched their TV. When we got into the room he talked to the nurse, answered all her questions and when she left he cuddled up to me and fell asleep on my shoulder. When the doctor came in and we couldn't get ANY response out of him, she got concerned. She was in the room for 15 minutes, and Alex wouldn't wake up for anything! So...
the called an ambulance for him. While waiting for the ambulance, the nurse put an IV in his arm. That's what finally woke him up! (I took this picture from our car because the urgent care facility isn't in the nicest of areas, AND, as Alex reminded me, he "is 16 mom!" And I figured, what the heck! If he's not safe in an ambulance, where is he safe at?! So I followed them to Primary Children's) So he stayed awake through the whole ride there, and was awake when I finally made it into his room after checking in.
Let's shorten this a bit; after a nasal swab, chest x-ray, blood work times 2, and an EKG the only thing they could surmise is his carbon dioxide was 3 times the amount it should be in his system. (We breathe in oxygen, we breathe out carbon dioxide) Obviously, he's not breathing right. The second time they checked it - this time from his finger instead of his arm - the levels were where they were supposed to be so they sent us home.
Within 5 minutes of us being in the car he was 'passed out' again. So much so that I went through the McD's drive through, and still got no response from Alex. I had to pull off to a parking spot to shake him awake! If you know Alex at all, you know that if anything will perk him up it's McDonald's!
The only reason I can come up with that he stayed awake through the 5 hour hospital stay is he was SO upset about the IV he couldn't sleep if he wanted to!
I took this picture to show Mike how mad he was. He wouldn't relax his arm, he wouldn't let us put the sleeve down, he just cried and complained about that stupid IV!
This is him right now. He woke up early, ate breakfast and is now sitting in the living room in a rocking chair, trying to get any little bit of sunlight that is filtering through the smog. And he's zonked! Moose jumped up on him - nothin! I went out front to take out the garbage - nothin! The phone has rang a few times, and I can hear A talking through the baby monitor, and he's in there snoozin.
My frustration is this...which doctor do I call? And I just say, what? He's sleepy? You know they will just say, "Then let him sleep." I am so glad he did this passing out routine in front of the doctor yesterday, because otherwise I would look like a mom trying to get attention.
So. I will call the docs I think I should call and see what they have to say.
My superhero is tired. Carbon dioxide must be his Kryptonite. Let's hope we can get rid of the extra in his body so he can be back to his old self, again!
Daddy Ernie, Colin holding Shyla, Nathan, Sierra, Alex and Ashley
Alex's birth father and family!
In July 2008 we had the opportunity to meet Alex's birth father (Daddy Ernie) and his beautiful family; Ashley, Co, S and Na. We had a great time at McDonald's (Alex's favorite eatery) then went to Coldstone for ice cream. It was so nice to meet Ernie for the first time. Since then they have traveled from afar to spend time with Alex. They also have added another sister to Alex's geneology; Sh. We are so blessed to have them in our family!!