Our own little army

Our army began with Will in June of 2008.  A week later Mac enlisted.  Four years later the army doubled in size with Quincy and Daniel.

These are all angel babies that I am close to.  Will belongs to a neighbor of ours who is a year or two older than Cali. Of course Mac and Quincy are Cali's, and Daniel belongs to another neighbor who just gave birth to him on Saturday. All these moms live within a block of each other. All of them had little boys.  I could name others that are friends of the family; the 4 year old who was with his family at a cemetery taking pictures and a headstone fell on him, killing him.  Or my neighbor's sister-in-law who had a stillborn little boy. See.  A little army.

Yeah, it helps knowing they are in the arms of our loving Heavenly Father, but it still hurts. 

Yes we know that these moms will get to raise these sweet men in the hereafter, but we miss them NOW!  And it hurts when they aren't "counted" among the grand kids.

And of course I pray every night asking Heavenly Father to give my two little boys a kiss from their Nanny - not that our Father in Heaven isn't busy enough as it is, but I don't think he minds me asking.  But I would like to do the hugging and kissing for myself.

It scares me to know how awesome these men are. 

There's nothing I want more than to be able to salute this army of ours and then hug the stuffin' out of each and every one of them!



When our neighbors couldn't find Daniel's heartbeat and they called to tell us, I didn't know what to say or do.  After all we have been through with Cali and her boys, and I couldn't think of what needed to be done.  It was hard.  It was hard to talk to Cali about it, because I knew it hurt her.  There is nothing worse than watching your child go through pain - horrible pain - and not be able to help in any way.

We went shopping.  Not the usual therapy for Cali and me, but it did help.  We found some things that were similar to what Will's mom gave to Cali when Mac was born;  a little ring to put on Daniel's hand and a matching one for a necklace for mom.  A teddy bear to go in the casket, and a matching one to keep, and matching tie tacks for Daniel and dad.  I know how much these things helped Cali.  And how amazing is it that Will's mom was able to come and comfort US just one week after losing Will?  I don't know how she did it.  But she did and we can never repay her for the love and support she gave to all of us.  And now it was Cali's turn.  She did an amazing job just being there for this mom.  I was very proud of her.

The funeral is coming up.  Cali and I will be there.  And I'm pretty sure so will Will, Mac, and Quincy.  They will be there to help Daniel, who will be there to help his family.