It's the 27th of the month...

...and that means a day of thought, a day of tears, a day of joy, and pain and .... I could go on and on with what this day of the month means, EVERY single month!! If you notice on the sidebar, Mac would be 8 months old today. What does that mean? It means this little boy would have let the world know who he is with his own little personality. He'd be able to sit without any support and if he wasn't crawling, he sure would want to! In fact, he may even be standing while holding onto something - probably with my help, but then again, he could count on me being there! He'd be jabbering all the time; maybe even saying 'mama' and 'dada'! I, of course, would be teaching him how to say 'nanny' since that's so vitally important! And he would have at least 30 signs. OK, maybe only 25, but we'd be working toward 30.

Why do I think about him every month? It's getting to be that as the day draws near, I think more and more about him. I miss him. I miss him because I don't know what I'm missing! All I know is I ache inside. And not just for myself. I ache for Josh and Cali; for their pain. I ache for Grandma Mingo who didn't get to hold her first great-great grandchild. For my parents and Mike's parents, for Josh's family, and for my family. I know we all miss him. He was a big part of our lives for someone who spent such a short time with us. I ache for Colby and Kierra's baby - although I shouldn't because that little one got to spend more time with Mac than any of us. But at the same time, I think their baby is a little girl, and I would have loved that she had an older boy cousin that could look out for her. I guess that just means I'll have to take extra care of any future grandchildren, for McKallister's sake.

He's 8 months old. He's perfect. And I'm so happy - yes, happy even though I have tears running down my face - that I know we have the chance to see him again.

I better get my act together!!